Friday, March 25, 2011

Waiting for things to be "normal"

The feeling post-op is one I cannot describe, it changes many things. It changes your energy level, it changes your mind, it changes how you eat and how you view food, and it changes your body.

Those you of you who know me, know that I am terribly impatient. Right now I am super impatient. I am not wanting to just eat food, I am wanting to be able to handle food without feeling awful. I am wanting energy to get up and clean my house or do the million other things I need to do.

Its a balancing act, I suppose. A very slow process for an impatient person makes them very cranky. Have I mentioned that the surgery and weight loss also affects your hormones? It actually does. So that makes me more cranky ;)

Thankfully my very supportive, encouraging husband has been dealing with me and helping me get through all these changes and has yet to lose his temper with me over my drama-queen moments. He has let me just go to bed more than once, realizing that I do feel actual pain and exhaustion. So many people don't understand what weight loss surgery does to you unless you have been through it. Its not a process I would want to repeat thats for sure.

Hopefully things will continue to get better quickly. I started on a new medication today to deal with heartburn and prayerfully it will work. Heartburn BITES! The only other time I dealt with it was while on hospital bedrest with the twins and there I had medication any time I needed it so it was not nearly as annoying as what I am experiencing now.

Oh and before I forget I am officially getting to the point of having to get rid of clothes, like my favorite Church skirt. I wore it on Sunday and well its supposed to hit just below the knee and now is half way down my calf lol.I was able to pull the skirt off without even unzipping it. Thankfully the support group I go to do a clothing exchange every other month, I have a feeling many of my old clothes will be making their way to the group in the next few months ;)

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Finally some food!

It seems a lot of the nausea has been from a lack of food, which I suspected was the case. I don't feel real hunger like I did pre-op, but imagine a time where you went way too many hours of not eating and that nausea starts to kick in. Then multiply that feeling by 4 weeks. Yeah, not pleasant.

My "green book" that was given to me by the nutritionist that had my dietary guidelines in had gone missing. Of course today I send hubby off to get a new book and within an hour or so I found the other one. No idea how either of us had not been able to find it because it was in plain site ha.

So anyways, it said liquid diet for at least 2 weeks post-op and that is where I am now so I decided I needed to start adding food.

Of course my idea of food now is drastically different. I cannot have fresh fruits and veggies yet but I can have the canned stuff so I grabbed a can of sliced peaches and ate 1 1/2 slices before I was full haha. For dinner a friend brought over baked mac n cheese. Now I know many say to completely avoid carbs but lets me honest here, the amount I can eat is not significant enough to make a difference, I just have to be careful to make it an occational "treat". So I ate some, took me probably 30-45 minutes to eat 1/8th of a cup. I have to eat s l o w l y and I have to chew to a baby food consistancy so it take a good long while for me to eat.

So far so good. I feel less nausea now as long as I don't go too many hours between eating. I still need to do a lot of work on getting enough protein but I know it will come with time.

Now I just need to get rid of the pain.

Friday, March 11, 2011

This is really, really hard

There is a phase I have read about many, many times in the online Weight Loss Surgery forums I frequent. I am in that phase now.

In the beginning stages you are not allowed much, well really it depends on the surgeon, some people are allowed to eat normal food right away. Um, yeah, there is NO way I could handle that. I am in the full liquid stage right now, similar to my pre-op diet HOWEVER my sleeve can not handle half, well most, of what it did when I had a full on regular old stomach.

Foods make me nauseous. I am not getting enough in, I live on water and the occational few ounces of greek yogurt or decaf tea with nothing in it or a sugar free popsicle. I tried cream of chicken tonight, um note to self, use only water, not milk to make the soup with, the milk makes it far too creamy and it made me feel worse.

I am lucky to get in 100 calories a day right now. I would be surprised if I got anywhere near that most days.

I really enjoyed sugar free protein pudding prior to surgery and now its just too much, it makes me feel sick.

So back to this phase I am in, most people begin to wonder WHY this did this to themselves. WHY couldn't I just do this myself?! Why did I have to surgically deal with my non-stop weight issues. This is torture. Eating so little is not fun, especially healing from such a major surgery. Smelling the foods you love is so hard knowing you cannot eat it. Trying to function has not been easy.

Thank the Lord my husband has been able to be home with me for the last two weeks. I have needed him so much. I am tired so easily. Going up and down the stairs leaves me winded, my pulse is still high too, and really it makes my life harder. I have children to care for and just have not been up to do all it takes, so he has been such a blessing to have around. He has done the babysitting, the cooking, the cleaning, the grocery shopping all of it.

He has been cooking the most amazing meals too, Quesidilla Casserole and he even made homemade Alfredo sauce one night. A few nights I told him just to take a break from cooking and grab something, tonight I even went out and bought McDonalds for the family. It was torture driving home with that in the car but I knew he needed the break and our son had a minor surgery today and that was his only request so I caved. I didn't want to eat the food but I wanted to just taste it, chew it, then spit it out because the idea of eating makes me nauseous right now.

So I guess I am done rambling. This phase is hard and a huge part of me wishes I have given in and not gotten the surgery.

Oh and I am down 16 or 17 lbs in 11 days. That puts me at nearly a 30 lb weight loss in 3 1/2 weeks. Crazy if ya ask me.

Thursday, March 3, 2011


I'm finally sleeved and finally home. Came home last night and boy was I glad to finally be home. Though my pain is higher at home since I'm on different meds now, it's much better to be here in my own bed, able to see the kids whenever I feel like it.

Surgery went well. The doctor said there were no issues with the surgery so thats a blessing. I was under for 4 hours so I was quite loopy all Monday night and into Tuesday. Since my surgery was later in the day that meant being woken up nearly hourly by doctors and nurses all Monday night. I remember trying so hard to stay awake but it just wasn't working for me. I was not able to get up and move either because I was so drugged.

Tuesday I had a leak test done and once that came back fine they took out the catheter and started me on clear liquids. It's not easy to get all those liquids though, thats for sure. I did end up needing magnesium so I got that through the IV and then they stopped the flow and let me try to hydrate myself.

Wednesday they had to hook me back up to the IV so I could get some potassium, let me tell ya, that stuff burns! She had to keep messing with it and finally just hooked it up to other IV running to dilute the potassium.

My nurses and doctors were great, all had a great sense of humor so that was nice. Thankfully I was not in a packed room either, normally you have 3 other people in one room with you but I had only 1 each day.

Once I got home, hubby got me all settled and into bed I went. I've been walking around as much as I can and trying to get enough fluids in. I'm clear to start full liquids but I'm going to stick with clear liquids for another day at the least, I'm just not wanting anything thicker than water, I am getting in some protein, though not nearly enough but hydration is the key in the first week or two anyways.

Oh and I weighed myself out of curiosity last night and would you believe I lost weight?! I'm full of gas/air that they pumped me full of and plenty of water weight and I have this stupid drain too but I still lost weight. Totally crazy.

Ok, drugs are kicking in so its nap time.