For years I have struggled, and by struggled, I mean I really have struggled with my weight...for 13 or 14 years. Im over it. Totally beyond over it. I hate being fat. I hate trying to eat healthy, succeeding, losing the weight and gaining it back. Im tired of shopping for unfashionable, old lady looking, fat girl clothes. Im too young for that. Im tired of paying more for ugly clothes just because they are for fat girls. IM OVER IT!
So an unpopular decision was made. I have committed to having weight loss surgery. More specificially the gastric sleeve. I went back and forth on whether I would share this with the world, knowing how many nay-sayers there would be, but ultimately I try to live my life as an open book and really Im not ashamed that I am having the surgery. Unless a person has struggled with their weight in such a way they will not understand anyways. I am NOT taking the easy way out, surgery is never easy and more surgery will be in store in the future as I lose the weight. I already know I am on the list for a panneculectomy after having had 4 kids in just under 2 1/2 years, all by c-section, let me tell you, its not a pretty picture.
Every person in my family has struggled with their weight and I am putting a stop to my struggles, this surgery will force me to gain control over this issue.
Apparently Im the near ideal patient for this too. Im in my 20s, Ive had my children, though I am still safely get pregnant in the future if the Lord sees fit, I am on the very low side of the BMI scale for qualifying for the surgery. And for now my only medical issue that can be seen as weight related is sleep apnea. No hypertention, no diabetes, YET.
That is a big 'yet' too, as all those run in my family. In 2 of my 3 pregnancies I suffered from severe pre-eclampsia, my normally average blood pressure went through the roof, my liver and kidneys began to fail and I was literally dying. Having had pre-eclampsia increases the risk of heart attacks and strokes and all kinds of other medical issues later on in life. Being fat wont help guard me either.
So the ball is rolling. I have gone to my bariatric surgery consult. I have a number on the wait list and now I wait. In the next 2-3 months (hopefully) I should recieve a call to meet with the bariatic surgery nurse. Then a visit to the nutritionist, psychiatrist and my primary care doctor. After that I choose my surgeon and meet with him and should have the surgery within a month of my visit to him YAY!
It looks like the two weeks before surgery I will be on a liquid diet, then after surgery I will continue the liquid diet a few weeks, then a pureed diet, then soft foods and eventually back to eating normal foods. By normal I do mean normal foods. There are not restrictions on what I can eat, I will just be very limited on how much I can eat, my new stomach will not allow for it.
Maybe as I get close to surgery I will get brave enough to post pictures. For now I hide behind the camera but this time next year, if all goes as planned I will finally not be ashamed of how I look and jump right in to those pictures.
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2 comments:
You should feel very proud of yourself for taking charge of your body! You will alleviate a lot of health problems in the future for sure. I'm so excited for you and wish I was there to help you in your journey...keep us posted. Love ya~ Aubs
First of all, you're beautiful regardless - thank you very much, yes I know I'm officially the favorite sister now haha! but seriously - make sure you're doing things for yourself not for what others might think of you - Go for your goals & dreams! :)
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