Friday, October 21, 2011

Small sizes don't last!

Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be complaining about skinny people clothes ;) Why is it that my fat clothes seemed to last FOREVER but these skinny clothes just don't last?

I am now inching towards 8 months post op. And I am still losing. Slowly. But the weight is still moving down. Since my last update I am down another 8 lbs, putting me at 142, however I flew right though an entire clothing size! Seriously. It lasted like a month, if even that.

Not long ago I was super excited to squeeze into a size 8. Two days ago I had to go buy a pair of size 4 jeans because 6s were falling off. I am now buying small shirts too. WHAT?! Craziness! Many times my husband and I discussed that I would probably be in a 6 once I had a tummy tuck. Uh yeah. If I am already in a 4, will I actually get smaller once I have the oh-so-lovely 3 c-sectioned, twin carrying gut removed?! After many complaints and dealing with issues with the plastic surgeon I am preparing to go see my surgeon again and discuss a tummy tuck with him and pray he takes sympathy on me..

It's not just an issue with vanity. I am not one of those girls that just wants to wear a bikini because frankly bikinis kind of freak me out. I don't like the idea of everyone being able to see that much skin on me, so no, you won't ever catch me in one. It's a matter of comfort and decreased pain. Looking in the mirror does gross me out. And it's not just because I was fat and have excess skin, it is actually an issue with having had 3 c-sections in 2 1/2 years. And having carried twins. You see the excess skin and of course the fat that is left there hangs over the crease from my c-section scar. I actually broke down and measured it a few days ago. The excess hangs 2 1/2 inches below my scar. When I measured around it and under it at the scar, there is actually a 3 inch different in the size of my waist.

Then there is the medical side of it, which my primary doctor is dumbfounded by this new plastic surgeon I saw, is claiming it to not be medically necessary. I cannot eat sitting upright, if I do, the fat/skin pushes up and restricts even further what I can eat. Now it's important to know how little I still eat. I am sitting around 1/4 cup of food at a time. If I sit up right like a normal person that amount is about cut in half. I have to stand or sit leaning back right now to eat. It's annoying. Then the issue with jumping. I cannot run or jump at all unless I bind my gut tightly and that is just not comfortable. If I jump up the excess flops up with me and flops down HARD. Add in back issues that cause daily every day of my life, a lack of muscle strength from the previous surgeries, and scar tissue that has caused pain, you can imagine how painful that whole jumping/running thing becomes. It's just not pleasant.

Overall I am so glad I went through with this surgery, though it didn't fix all the problems, like the sleep apnea that is just as bad now as it was before, it was still worth it, even with the complications...

1 comment:

Korin Lopez said...

Cassie you look AMAZING!!! thanks for always leaving me encouraging words! I am so proud and so impressed with your hard work! You are awesome!