"I don't remember that"

Twice tonight I heard the words "I don't remember that" And this was after showing my before pictures. It's amazing how quickly we can forget just what a person we see all the time looked like. I know for me, I find myself forgetting just how far I have come in 5 1/2 months. I am now down 81 lbs. I am 9 lbs from my goal. So stinkin close! Yet at times I feel like I am still just a fat cow. At other times I feel like I have always been as "skinny" as I am now.

Lately there have been so many compliments, this is hard for me to take. I do not like receiving so much attention but at the same time it serves as a good reminder of how much I have changed. I am the same opinionated and sarcastic person I have always been but I don't hide so much from other people I do not know anymore. I am not ashamed of how I look, of course I still struggle with the new image I see in the mirror and constantly wonder if what I see is real but that is normal, especially this early out. So many people comment not only on how I look but how I carry myself, I stand a little taller, I have grown out of feeling the need to dress in frumpy fat clothes, I dress my age, I experiment with styles now instead of looking for the biggest thing I can find to cover my lard up. I put a little more effort into how I look including hair and makeup. My husband loves it. Most men don't encourage shopping but mine, well, lets just say he has restocked my side of the closet ha!

People are starting to see the real me again, the me that was hidden for so many years after struggling to get a handle on my weight. I have even started taking pictures again when I have hidden from the cameras for so long.

And now I am at a point where I am trying to fix the years of damage done to my body, it will take plastic surgery to fix my stomach, there is no question there. I have been on the wait list for 2 years anyways to fix that, long before I even considered WLS. After 3 c-sections in 2 1/2 years, the last of which being twins, there is no hope in my stomach naturally going back to what it ought to be. Just tonight I couldn't help but laugh at the reaction of several ladies who had no idea just how much is left of my stomach, it hides well under clothes but once you grab a handful, it is shocking. Needless to say their jaws dropped when they saw just how much was hiding ;)

So here I am in the home stretch, ready to hit my goal!

Would ya hurry up already?!

I am an impatient person.

Extremely impatient.

Right now I am far too impatient.

I am ready to hit my goal. I know, I know. Just quite whining, right? Yes I should just be happy that I have lost 74 lbs and counting yet that impatient part of me is ready to just hit goal. I'm ready to replace all my clothes and get clothes that will fit more than a few weeks to a month. Instead I continue to waste money buying these clothes that just won't last. I should be glad they won't last but wasting money drives me crazy. I have no choice but to buy them, I am out of my "skinny clothes" (which were not really skinny clothes lol), hubby does not appreciate when my clothes are falling off lol.

I have had no luck lately at the thrift shops, and trust me I have hit them all. Apparently when you are skinnier you are supposed to wear jeans that allow other's to see your fat gut hanging over them or see more than they should from behind. Everything is so low cut.

Over the weekend hubby insisted we go shopping, I did get some awesome deals but it took a lot of shopping. You see, clothing manufacturers must think we are all either teenagers or 90 years old. I am neither. I like to dress conservatively, leaving a little something to the imagination yet still look cute. It seems these manufacturers don't believe in conservative dress anymore.

At any rate, after hours of shopping over 2 days I walked away with a pair of heels, a pair of DCs (super cute black, pink and white shoes!), 2 pairs of jeans, 5 shirts, 2 shrugs, 1 pj shirt, 3 pj shorts, 4 tank tops to layer with, and a bunch of undergarments. Thankfully the only things that won't last are the pants and I got those on sale.

I am still amazed I can fit into a size 12 jean. Sounds big to some but man alive! It has been years since I fit into a size 12. I held them up and told my husband there was no way they would fit. And then they fit. HA! Just further proof that it takes a LONG time for the mind to catch up the changes.

72 lbs in 4 1/2 months at OneTrueMedia.com

So this took a lot of talking myself into it. This is one of those things that a person wants to share to show how far they have really come yet they fear sharing just how bad it really was. It's embarrassing to look back at these pictures but it's amazing to know I will not go back there again. I was fat, I felt gross, I looked awful, I was flat out miserable in my body.

Now don't get me wrong, I am still not happy with my body but I am not nearly as embarrassed as I was all those months ago. Making this video forced me to look back and see just how far I really have come. It's easy to let your mind play tricks on you and make you think you are still that same old fat girl even when you see the scale and the measuring tape move so drastically. But when you look at the pictures, you are forced to see what you looked like and what you now look like.

So after much talking to myself and my husband pushing me to show it, I will share my 4 1/2 month post-VSG results video. Eventually I will get around to taking more body shots but I still tend to hide from the camera and I'm not exactly sure where my camera charger is anyways ;) Oh and I should point out I am now down 74 lbs ;) I made the video last week. 16 more to go!

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

WHAT?! How many inches?!

Tomorrow is my 4 month surgiversary. Hard to believe it has been 4 months since I went under the knife again.

So in honor of my weigh-in day I also took my measurements. Apparently I have not done so since 1 month post-op.

Let me just say, the amount of inches lost off my body was shocking.

Now I know I was fat. Even now I am still considered "over weight" by the BMI scales but according to everyone I look like a normal weight now. When the kids and I went to visit my grandparents for their wedding (long story but yes they just got married after 36+ years) she was amazed at just how much I still weigh, she thought I was a good 40 lbs less than where I am. KInda nice to hear. And grandma is not one of those to lie to make you feel better kinda people. I guess I hide my weight well.

So anyways, back to the measurements. I have lost 63 3/4 inches off my body. YES people, you read that number right. What a HUGE number. Part of me is seriously embarrassed over the fact that I have lost that much and yet still have another 22 lbs to go until I hit goal. The other part of me says BOOYAH!! I know my clothing sizes have changed drastically and I know the scale now reads 68 lbs less but still! THat number is amazing.

Once hubby came home from work, I showed him the numbers. At that moment it dawned on me that I have lost my height in inches off my body. INSANE! I am just under 5'4. I stood there just trying to figure out how in the world a person can lose as many inches as I am tall?!

So there it is, out in the open.

The best part is knowing I will not go back to that. I can eat anything I want but in very small quantities. I do not deprive myself. If I want ice cream, I eat it, it's just 1/4 cup verses the 2 scoops I would have eaten before. If I want chips I eat 5 or 6 and I'm full. No longer do I sit and inhale 1/4 of a bag of chips. If I want to go out to dinner, I eat a couple of bites off hubbys plate, not only does it save us money but it also cuts down on his portion size as well.

Though I now take acid reducing meds (hopefully this is just temporary) and I eat less than a toddler, I live a normal life and eat normal stuff just like everyone else.

And another giveaway :)

Loving all these great blogger giveaways today, this one looks really cool too with so many great things up for grabs to make the perfect party :)

http://celebrationsathomeblog.com/2011/06/party-package-giveaway-valued-at-over-270.html

I'm such a sucker for a giveaway

SO many great giveaways in the blogging world lately. This one is super cute so I had to share http://eyecandyeventdetails.blogspot.com/2011/06/american-luau-collection-giveaway-great.html

3 months and 59 lbs.

Who would have thought in 3 months I would be down 59 lbs?! I am literally only a few ounces from being a full on 60 lbs down. Totally crazy if you ask me. I am only 30 lbs from goal. CRAZY!

Finally I am eating normal again. Tonight I am eating a new favorite from Denny's. Its a grilled tortilla with sauce that taste just like Thousand Island on it, ground beef, lettuce, tomatoes and cheese on top of that. So good! So easy to make at home too so that is awesome.

I haven't found anything that I cannot eat, but I have found tastes to be totally different, stuff I loved before, I no longer can stand. Sweet things taste way too sweet. I am not one of those post-ops that completely eliminates real sugar, I cannot stand fake sugar so if I need it, I use the real stuff. Most things I use the normal fat types vs the low fat, tastes gross, with plenty of added junk to make it taste halfway decent.

I also do not measure my foods, I just eyeball it and if it ends up being too much I toss it when I am full. I do not track what I eat either, so many WLS people track their calories, protein, carbs, fat, etc. I just don't do it and it works fine for me. I do eat protein first, fruits/veg next, carbs last.

I am terrible with taking my vitamins too so I was pleasantly surprised at my 3 month post-op appt to find my labs looked fine. My vit D was a little low, not surprising considering where I live. My bad cholesterol was a little high, good cholesterol a little low, and my parathyroid intact was a little high. I will go on a once a week Vit D pill for 12 weeks to take care of that, exercise for the cholesterol and since the rest of the labs look fine there is no concern over the parathyroid intact.

All in all things look fine. I have slowly finding more energy but still dealing with occasional pain daily. Because of the pain I will go in for another scope. The original plan after my hospital stay was to go in for 2 more scopes. One has been done to close the hole in my sleeve and this one was up in the air. Since the pain comes daily the decision was made to go ahead and look to see if there is a stricture. Hopefully this will be the last one.

It's just amazing to see all the changes in my body :)